gender problems

i love to sing.
ive been regularly involved in music since more than a decade in a way or another. first, i was the lead voice of a sacular children's choir, then i participated in an amateur singing trio (we were about 9 y old, so the results were, looking back, enthusiastic but embarassing nonetheless).
later, i would spend 4 years singing in the choir of my gymnasium. we mainly sang pieces like sister act, the soundtrack of lion's king, swiss folk songs and so on. the best experience however was the performance of carmina burana. i even took some singing lessons. my teacher was so keen to make a soprano diva out of me that i got orders like "whisper in public to save your voice" "answer in a high tone if you must speak loudly" "think of a bell! a bell!" (i pretty soon quit.)
then i had the chance to be the singer of a band project. we would jam and study arrangements over nearly a year and then spend some time in a studio. this was truly inspiring. it offered me an essential insight into the world of creativeness, teamwork, hard work and hard rock. the two guitarists from that project are still great friends of mine. one of them became my boyfriend. you might already have guessed that i miss him, seeing my last post, well, he's travelling europe right now and won't be coming back that soon.
i didn't really have the chance to sing since our album project. i did some lyrics allright, but it's not the same, singing some tune in your own room and jamming with your crew. another problem is also that there are great hard rock songs. melodic ballads, all that stuff. but i mean... i can't sing a song about "my love for her" since i don't feel any love of that kind for any her. on the other side, simply changing the pronoun can really kill a song.
dunno.

those are the lyrics of the song "heart full of soul" from the yardbirds, two of the members being eric clapton and jimmy page (better known as the guitarist of the later formed group led zeppelin). heavy stuff.

Sick at heart and lonely
Deep in dark despair
Thinking one thought only
"Where is she, tell me where?"
And if she says to you
She don't love me,
Please give her my message
Tell her of my plea
And I know
That if she had me back again
I would never make her sad
I've got a heart full of soul
She's been gone such a long time
Longer than I can bear
But if she says she wants me
Tell her that I'll be there
And if she says to you
She don't love me
Please give her my message
Tell her of my plea
And I know
That if she had me back again
I would never make her sad
I've got a heart full of soul.

Spätabends...

für j.

liegend auf dem teppich
seh ich die decke rauf
somehow ein bisschen fertich
und träume wurden laut

und dann sitz ich wieder
wie an jenem abend eben
lehn mich zu dem heute rüber
traurig war ich nicht, von wegen

the aftermath of indisch kitsch
a long surpressed emotion too
genau wie an jenem küchentitsch
ravioli mit tomate 'zu

ist es komisch dies zu missen?
drei wochen sind eine lange zeit.
und wenns vorbei ist, ungewissen,
will ich dich nicht mehr vermissen

denn dies ist ein harter job
doch wo bleibt meine bezahlung?